The
situation:
I
lost my job due to
staff downsizing and had to take another job far away from home. This
was the second time that we (my wife and I) were going long distance.
This time, however, we had dogs that needed looking after. My wife
went to visit her parents, so my parents looked after our dogs.
The
lessons:
Strangely
enough, some of
the most valuable lessons I learned in life, I learned from my dogs.
My dogs (two Labradors, about 15 months old at that stage) taught me
the following:
-
Remember
to
still
enjoy
your
life
-
Show
it when you're happy to be reunited
-
Remain
faithful
-
Don't
lose your manners
-
Jump
at every opportunity
-
Don't
take it personally
-
Get
support from friends and family
1.
Remember to still enjoy your life
My
dogs had a great time
with my parents. They live in a very rural area, right against a
hill, so there were lots of cows to bark at and lots of interesting
places to explore. There was also a river that they could go swimming
in every day. To them, everything was exciting and new – including
the sprinkler system that they could chew to bits.
Now
just because your
partner isn't there, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't still enjoy
your life. You shouldn't act as if you're single, and eventually get
your relationship into trouble, but you should have fun. Don't
deprive yourself from having fun, and don't feel guilty when you do
have some fun without him/her. As long as you remember partner at all
times, some fun won't be a threat to your relationship.
2. Show it when
you're happy to be reunited
When
we finally got back to
our dogs, they were completely exuberant and uncontrollably happy for
quite a few minutes. We just couldn't get them to stand still at all.
They were happy, and they were going to show it no matter what.
Don't
you think your partner
deserves the same kind of treatment? There's nothing worse than a
cold or even a mild reception when you're back together. Don't feel
afraid or embarrassed to show your joy, just let go, and be
yourself. You should be happy and look happy.
3. Remain faithful
As
much as they really
enjoyed staying with my parents, once we started packing, they jumped
onto the back of the pickup and wouldn't budge. They knew we were
going somewhere, and they didn't want to be separated again.
If you haven't done so yet, be
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and join in the discussion of this and other articles. You can also
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|
Some
people would call them
“mindless” animals but I don't. I know they are very intelligent
and have lots of emotions. It really struck me as something to look
up to. How often are couples unfaithful for the simplest reasons. If
a dog can remain faithful over a long distance relationship for
nearly two months on end, why can't we? Remember, we couldn't
communicate with them the same way we as couples can communicate all
the time.
4. Don't lose your
manners
We
were slightly afraid that
they wouldn't be so well mannered anymore when we got back. After
all, it wasn't my parents that trained them, and maybe they trained
them differently. We were pleasantly surprised to see that they were
in some instances even more well-behaved than before. But that's only
because my parents were strict with them. You have to be strict with
yourself.
I'm
a man, so take it from
me. When there's nobody checking, manners go out the window very
fast. Small things like eating with your hands and belching out loud
may seem innocent when you're alone, but it might become a very bad
habit, and as with most bad habits, you may just forget sometimes
that you're not alone.
Ever
thought how “easy”
popping “The Question” to her parents would be if you just
absentmindedly belched like a bullfrog at the dinner table? This
mostly applies to men, but just because you're a woman, you shouldn't
think you're immune.
5. Jump at every
opportunity
Because
I was working out of
the country, I left my pickup with my parents, as it would make it
easier to transport the dogs. Every time they thought there was some
driving to take place, the dogs would jump onto the pickup and would
be near impossible to remove. My pickup and my parent's car have the
same alarm system, so regardless of which one was (remotely)
deactivated, as soon as they heard the bleep, they would jump. They
would of course be very sad when they were told to get off, but it
never stopped them from doing it again.
You
should be like that with
your partner. You should jump at even the slightest opportunity of
being with each other, or doing something fun when you are together.
If there is even the remotest chance that you may score a lift with
some friends (or even friends of friends of friends) that are going
in the right direction, you should jump at it. Many times it doesn't
work out, but it's worth the effort.
|
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|
6. Don't take it
personally
Have
you ever scolded a dog?
They have this way of looking really, really sorry for whatever it is
they did. They may even look sad. But as soon as you speak to them in
a happy voice again, they're all tail-waggingly happy again.
I'm
not saying you should
take abuse in your relationship, but sometimes people say stupid
things in a stupid manner. We've all been guilty of it in the past
and we will all be guilty of it in the future again. Learn to forgive
and forget the simple unimportant issues like a dog does it, and your
relationship will be much easier.
7. Get support
from friends or family
I
strongly believe the dogs
were so happy and enjoyed themselves so much because there was two of
them, and also because they were staying with my parents. Not only
did they look after them well, they also gave them lots of attention.
If we were to book them into kennels for the full two months, we
would have gotten completely different dogs back.
The
same goes for you in a
long distance relationship. You shouldn't cut yourself off from
friends of family. You should rather get a support group around you
that really understand how you feel. Avoid those people that tell you
it can't work out, or that you're being silly, and surround you with
positive, like-minded people.
I
think dogs can teach us so
much about relationships because they never over-analyse any
situation. You should make the effort to learn a bit from your pets
every once in a while.
Best of luck
Leon
