This is something you
often find on forums. People
complaining that they just don’t communicate any more. Or if they
communicate,
it’s often very shallow. So how do you build real deepness into your
communication? What should you do to get real
in your communication?
Levels of
communication
Most psychologists and
counselors would agree that there are
different levels of communication. You should aim for higher levels of
communication in your relationship. Higher levels of communication
should
automatically lead to more open communication. In simplified terms, you
get the
following levels:
-
Clichés
-
News
-
Sharing of
emotions
-
Intimate
communication
Clichés
Hi, how are you? Fine
thanks, how are you? Fine thanks!
Probably the biggest (and shortest) cliché communication there
is, played out
all over the world in many (if not all) languages and cultures.
Similarly, in
long distance relationships, saying “I love you” and “I miss you” all
the time
isn’t really deep communication. I do it myself, but you should try and
aim for
a deeper level of communication.
If you haven't done so yet, be
sure to join the forum
and join in the discussion of this and other articles. You can also
post your own discussion topics for answers by me and the rest of the LongDistanceRelationshipSecrets
community.
|
News
This is actually a very
important part of a long distance
relationship, more so than in a normal relationship, where you are
together all
of the time. When you are together, you share normal everyday
activities with
each other. When you are apart, you miss out. Don’t flood your
communication
with stories of how you got stuck in traffic today, but do make an
effort to
remain a part of each other’s lives. The more you know about each
other, the
more you will grow together in your relationship.
Sharing
emotions
When you share news,
you’re probably sharing opinions, not
emotions. When you attend a football match, all dressed up in the
colours of
your team, it’s rather clear what your opinion is about who should win.
Emotions aren’t the same as opinions. Emotions describe how you feel,
what are
your fears, what do you value, what are your future plans, etc.
Intimate
communication
Does it sometimes feel as
if your partner can read your
mind? That’s probably intimate communication at work. It’s where you
can
communicate without words. It’s very difficult to achieve this in a
long
distance relationship, which is why regular get-togethers are so
important.
|
I absolutely know that your relationship is important to
you. Why else would you be reading an article on how to improve
your relationship?
Well, if you really are serious about your relationship (and we both
know you are) how does 150 pages of first class
help sound to you?
And what if I said it will only cost you $12.95?
(I'll
even
let
you
try
it
for
as
little as $4.95)
This is the second edition of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. I had
to re-launch the book in January 2010, because there was just so much new information
to include. For the last few years, I've been quietly adding
information to the master copy. Information gathered by answering the real, honest questions send to me
by countless couples that struggle with long distance
relationships every day.
This book contains infomration that you will not find anywhere else on
the internet - not even in the articles section of this very site.
You owe it to yourself and your partner to at least take a peak at Long
Distance Relationship Secrets - Second Edition
|
In a normal relationship,
you will gradually and
automatically progress from the one type of communication to the other.
In a
long distance relationship it will take a little more effort. Don’t
overwhelm
your partner by asking lots of deep emotion sharing questions all at
once. I
suggest you gradually work up to it while you’re building your
relationship. As
you progress, you will gradually see more openness in your
communication and a
deepening of your relationship.
I don’t like to cross-reference my articles too much, for
fear of linking them like a spider’s web, but I strongly suggest you
take a
look at Communication, Commitment and Trust on the articles
page as it bears great relevance on the whole question of openness.
Best of luck
Leon
