You see this on forums a
lot. People saying that they don’t
think they will be able to make it. Their partner is far away, and it’s
going
to be 4 years (or 2 years, or 5 years…) before they will be able to be
together. How will they make it for that long? Can long distance
relationships
even last that long?
The good news is long
distance relationships can last for an
unlimited number of years. The bad news is that if it goes on for too
long, the
quality of your relationship may start to deteriorate. So what do you
do when
you are faced with a long term long distance relationship?
Preparing
for long term
In all honesty, a long
term long distance relationship
doesn’t differ too much from a shorter term long distance relationship.
All the
rules still apply. There are, however, a few things that you need to
ask
yourself when you are faced with a long
term long distance relationship.
-
Why has the
time frame extended?
-
What can we
do about it?
-
How will we
adapt to it?
Why has the
time frame extended?
In our case it was simple.
Either go long distance again, or
sell the house. Now don’t get me wrong. We’re not clinging to the house
due to
some materialistic world view where we see items (like the house) as
more
important than our happiness. The fact is that we bought the house just
before
the current economic collapse. Even though we bought it at a good
price, we
would have sold it at a substantial loss. Not including the transfer
costs,
etc. that was also very expensive. Not only would we not have a house
anymore,
we would have a substantial amount of debt. Financially, it would have
been a
mistake.
Maybe you have similar
problems. Maybe you also lost your
job. Whatever your reason, I urge you to look for a way out.
What can we
do about it?
Start making plans. Look
for a new job if you have to. Or
see if you can renegotiate your current job. Don’t just give in and say
you’re
a victim of circumstances. Once you start thinking like that, you can
just as
well end your relationship, because you’re not committed to making it
work.
If you haven't done so yet, be
sure to join the forum
and join in the discussion of this and other articles. You can also
post your own discussion topics for answers by me and the rest of the LongDistanceRelationshipSecrets
community.
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Once you start taking
control of the situation and really
looking for a way out, you may be surprised to find that the answer is
easier
than you think. I’m not going to be all airy-fairy and saying things
like: If
you can think it you can achieve it. I’m just saying you should make a
conscious effort to really make a difference in your own situation.
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I absolutely know that your relationship is important to
you. Why else would you be reading an article on how to improve
your relationship?
Well, if you really are serious about your relationship (and we both
know you are) how does 150 pages of first class
help sound to you?
And what if I said it will only cost you $12.95?
(I'll
even
let
you
try
it
for as little as $4.95)
This is the second edition of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. I had
to re-launch the book in January 2010, because there was just so much new information
to include. For the last few years, I've been quietly adding
information to the master copy. Information gathered by answering the real, honest questions send to me
by countless couples that struggle with long distance
relationships every day.
This book contains infomration that you will not find anywhere else on
the internet - not even in the articles section of this very site.
You owe it to yourself and your partner to at least take a peak at Long
Distance Relationship Secrets - Second Edition
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How will we
adapt to it
OK, so maybe you really
were unlucky. It sometimes happens that
you just don’t have a choice in the matter. Take my situation as an
example. I
applied for over 60 jobs. Admittedly, I may have been a bit desperate
towards
the end, but I was definitely fully qualified for more than 30 of those
jobs. I
had one choice and one choice only: Long distance relationship, or
unemployed.
But now we make plans. We
know exactly when we are going to
see each other again and we know exactly what we’re going to do when we
get
back together. We also know how we’re going to communicate, and what we
can
talk about and what should best be left for when we get back together.
If you prepare for it, you will definitely make a success of
any long distance relationship, no matter how long you are separated.
Best of luck
Leon
